I’m not trying to be too tough love, here. I get what you’re saying. Sometimes you want to have a conversation without having to spell out swear words. But we have to accept reality. You can try a direct ask, i.e., “I love your kids, but I’ve been hoping for one-on-one time.”

Dear Eric: While in grad school, I got a call from my ex-girlfriend saying her oldest child, then five years old, was my son. We met and she showed me pictures. She was married and she didn’t ask for anything. She just wanted me to know.

I have suggested meeting for coffee before work or dinner after work, but my friend does not want to spend any time away from the family.

How do you stay friends with someone who puts zero interest in maintaining an adult friendship? My best friend from high school (of more than 20 years) had kids a few years ago. The kids are young but out of the baby stage.