This is CO-regulation. Why do psychologists, therapists & child development experts recommend co-regulating with children? Because a child **CANNOT** build the skills for SELF-regulation without consistently experiencing co-regulation throughout childhood. If you cannot feel anger, sadness, disappointment, frustration, irritation, anxiety etc without yelling, threatening, bribing, punishing or giving in, it’s very likely you did not grow up with caregivers who were able to co-regulate with you.
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Co-regulation is a vital aspect of nurturing relationships within families, and it plays a significant role in helping children navigate their big emotions effectively. By co-regulating with our children during times of intense feelings, we provide them with invaluable support and equip them with lifelong skills that will benefit them both in the present and as they grow into adulthood. When we co-regulate, we demonstrate empathy and understanding towards our child’s emotions. By being present a
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Co-regulation is the ultimate parenting game-changer. There’s still a common belief out there that kids need to be “toughened up” and taught to suppress emotions. But neuroscience says the opposite. When a child is overwhelmed, their nervous system is in distress—not being difficult. Responding with calm, connection, and co-regulation isn’t spoiling them. It’s supporting their developing brain. This is how they learn to regulate themselves in the future. Co-regulation isn’t weakness—it’s a prove
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